The Vatican-Home of the Holy See-Says its OK to Believe in Aliens

Today, the Vatican's Chief Astronomer, yes I did say chief astronomer, has announced that believing in Aliens does not contradict faith in God. The Pope's Chief Astronomer, the Reverend Jose Gabriel Funes said that the great expanse that is the Universe means that it is quite possible that life elsewhere, even intelligent life, exists. The logic Funes uses in explaining how aliens don't contradict the Catholic faith is that they are God's creatures too and that denying the existence of Aliens would be "putting limits" on God's creative abilities.

There you have it folks you can believe in Aliens and still be apart of the Catholic church but if you dare to use a condom for any reason you will be excommunicated indefinitely. I wish I could have their superior logical and moral clarity.

One Million Americans Vote For Ron Paul

Republican Presidential candidate Ron Paul eclipsed an important milestone in yesterdays primaries in Indiana and North Carolina. By winning over 71,000 votes, Dr. Paul has earned the backing of over one million supporters across America. “By voting and caucusing for Dr. Paul, one million Republicans have sent a powerful message to our leaders that they want the GOP to return to its traditions of limited government, personal liberty and a strong national defense,” said campaign spokesman Jesse Benton. “Dr. Paul and the grassroots movement he has inspired are building a bright future for the Republican Party and the United states of America.”

New Scientific Evidence Shows....

....that when the inevitable nuclear war does come there will only be three forms of life that will survive: cockroaches, Hillary Clinton and John McCain. Now I know that cockroaches surviving a nuclear holocaust may surprise some of you. But, they really are resilient little bastards and have almost been around as long as John McCain.

In other news..... future nuclear war survivor Hillary Clinton gained the backing of North Carolina Governor Mike Easley. Today in his endorsement he made a contrast between her and Barack Obama by saying, “There’s a lot of ‘yes we can’ and ‘yes we should’ going on. Hillary Clinton is ready to deliver, that’s the difference.”

He also continued on to say that she makes Rocky Balboa "look like a pansy."

Hillary is in it to win it and so I caution YOU!, Barack Obama, health hath no fury like a woman that could survive a nuclear war. And if she has to pull the democratic nomination from your fingers one at a time and pull your nails off, so be it. Watch out because she is a mission and is going to shatter your hope bong into a thousand pieces the first chance she gets, even if it is at 3 a.m. and she has to go in under sniper fire.

The Bum Bot: Keeping Atlanta Georgia Vagrant and Drug Dealer Free

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Clinton challenges Obama to a Lincoln-Douglas Style Debate

In recent weeks Barack Obama has been complaining about the trivial nature of the questions being asked in the more recent debates (i.e. the questioning his patriotism because he does not wear a flag pin). Also in recent weeks Hillary Clinton has come to realize that she needs something really big to happen in her favor or unfavorably to Obama. Even her win in Pennsylvania is not enough to derail Obama's march to the White House. Her solution: a Lincoln-Douglas style debate, "Just the two of us, going for 90 minutes, asking and answering questions, we'll set whatever rules seem fair," Clinton said while campaigning in South Bend, Indiana. She is so serious about this that her campaign has sent a letter with a formal offer to the Obama campaign. This will be a real test for Obama, the debates have consistently been his weakest showings but this style of debate could allow him to finally eliminate Clinton from the race. On the flip side of the coin it could allow her to claw her way back into the leader position and gain major support. In the coming days a response should come out of the Obama Campaign and I say accept the challenge and lets see what your made of Barack Obama; let the fireworks begin.

Ron Paul is still Hanging On and Continuing to Spread his Message of Liberty and Peace

Despite there being no way for Ron Paul to win the Republican nomination short of a miracle, he is still garnering votes in the late primary states. In the recent contest in Pennsylvania he received 16% of the vote. Let me tell you, Paul is in no hurry to close shop up on his campaign, he was just at the University of Pennsylvania speaking to a crowd of over 1,500 hundred. He continues to prove that his message of small government, low taxes, minimal regulation, freedom and peace is a powerful one. In addition, a man and politician of greater character, integrity and morality could not be found if we searched the world twice over. So I say keep going Ron Paul, scream your message from the highest roof tops because people are waking up and realizing that we are going down the wrong path as a nation. One day, hopefully one day soon, the whole U.S. will become conscious and hear and be welcoming of the truth that you so gallantly spread. Viva la Revolution!

Dance Master Dubya Gets Down Again

When I think of George "Dubya" Bush, a multitude of thoughts pop into my head: fearless leader, integrity, brilliant statesman, chuckle, and dance machine. Thats right folks, Dubya was seen busting a move again, this time in New Orleans. After a long day of meetings with the President's of Mexico and Canada for the North American Leaders Summit, Dubya was seen at the New Orleans Chamber of Commerce getting his groove on to the styling's of a brass band. G Dubya, party animal strikes again.



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Only in America

Only in America and by America of course I mean the United States. Because obviously the Rest of North America and South America don't count. Now that we know where America is, let me get back to what happens Only in America. Only in America would we, as Americans, with our natural and superior intelligence elect a leader as wickedly brilliant as George W. Bush aka G.W. or if your his close personal friend like I am he simply likes to be called "Dubya." Who else but "Dubya"(leader of the free world) would without a second thought and in all apparent seriousness say to the Pope (the holy see; god's mouthpiece; leader of the non free world) "Thanks your Holiness, Awesome speech." Dubya was clear, concise and to the point, I couldn't have said it better myself. Just another example of superiority that is America through the leaders we choose to represent us.



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